I took the liberty of expanding my answer to the original letter published yesterday. Please be assured that I ask permission before posting personal correspondence.
What the Reverend Master Daizui says is true. And I can see how it 'flipped your pancake', (love that expression). Yes, one answer is to simply keep sitting and continue to simply let go, especially all ideas about how to meditate and what that might be! Yes, the awareness of the person making effort will arise, simply sit within the center of that. What or who is it that is making the effort? You can ask that question of yourself and then sit and listen, inwardly! My suggestion is to: keep on just sitting and then, if it seems good, feel free to talk/write to me as the practice grows on you. We call that 'checking in'. Right away I'd use the words 'just sit' rather than meditate.
The line from Rev. Master Daizui's book; "when people are meditating they don't even know that they are doing it." is a very positive one in actual fact. Many people, all people, unknowingly know about meditating, some seem to be naturally more reflective than others though. So it is after all not something one does, like cooking a meal, more something one IS, unknowingly. It is our inheritance to be and live 'one and undivided'. Meditation and practice throws up, from the first moment of doing formal zazen, ones habits. They are termed in Buddhism the 'three poisons'. They are, desire, its frustrated form felt as anger/frustration and delusion. None a problem in themselves.
Thanks for taking a look at the book, I'll probably order a box of them. The pancake trick is what we call "being disturbed by the Truth", a good disturbance by the way!
Keep going; the Jewel is in the palm of your hand.
Thanks for this, Reverend Mugo.
I had sort of forgotten that essential notion of "just sitting." The idea was starting to creep into my practice that I had to be doing something constructive, that there had to be definite, measurable improvement each time or it wasn't working. That's how I approach most things. But not writing, interestingly enough. Each time I sit down to write, I try to be a beginner. I try to forget what I know about good writing, and rediscover it anew by writing. Probably that's a good spirit to bring to just sitting.
There's more I wanted to say, but the family calls. Talk to you soon, and thanks for the talk. And the blog!
And thank you!